What’s the best gift we can give this festive period?
Is it a beautifully wrapped present? A lovingly prepared meal? A bottle of wine?
Like countless many, I’ve spent hours pondering this question recently, trawling the loaded shelves of multiple retailers – looking for just the right gift to show loved ones how much I value them – while also delicately balancing the credit card. Then I get home and experience anxiety at the dollars I’ve spent, frustration at the materialism of it all, and worry that it will just end up on another shelf for all eternity – never to be used or appreciated. Bah humbug.
A recent conversation I shared with one of my clients this year brought home to me that after all is said and done – the people we love and respect want just one simple thing – our attention. Our quality, focused, mindful, present, undivided attention.
Thomas leads a State Division of a national company. I caught up with him 6 weeks post his participation in our mindful leaders retreat this year – where we focused on developing the tools and techniques for living and leading more mindfully. Thomas reported many benefits from acting more mindfully at work. But what really inspired me was how being more mindful – and paying more attention – impacted his family.
Thomas has a 12 yr old daughter who had – up to that point – shown little interest in art or creative expression. Out of the blue, she asks her dad for a canvas and paints. Instead of the usual “really? It costs money you know?” programmed response, Thomas pays attention to his daughter – recognises she is genuinely interested – and says “Yes – sure – why not?”. He procures said canvas and paints, and (he swears this!) within 30mins she produces this stunning and haunting rendition of an owl. I don’t know about you – but I’m pretty impressed!
That night – while mum and dad are marvelling at their daughter’s flash of creative brilliance, mum suggests – “we should send her to a school that focuses on this stuff”. Yet again – Thomas pays attention – sees that his wife is sincere – and instead of the programmed “too expensive / too hard / current school is perfectly good” response – Thomas says “Yes – your right. We should”. The next day – they enrol their daughter into a new school – much to mum’s surprise at her husband’s new responsiveness and daughter’s delight at having the opportunity to explore her talent to its fullest extent.
So how do you train attention? The research is telling us that the most direct route is through the practice of mindful meditation. Practicing mindfulness is like weight lifting for your brain. It helps us to learn how to focus on the thing in front of our eyes. Not the thoughts that keep jumping around in our heads. Mindfulness is defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn as “paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgementally”. The quality of your attention has the potential to change the experience of your life, and as Thomas’ story demonstrates – the lives of others. There’s plenty of great and free material online you can readily source to develop the capacity to live and lead mindfully. I personally love the 1 Giant Mind app. But there are dozens. If you really want to take it next level – then get a mindfulness instructor, go to yoga, or get a coach.
There is nothing in this world that surpasses really, truly being seen. It reinforces that we are part of something – a group, a family, an organisation, a community. That we are important and that we matter. Your mindful attention is your greatest gift.
Thank you, dear reader, for your attention. Merry Christmas.
COMING SOON – MINDFUL LIFE RETREAT
29 October – 2 November 2018, Byron Bay, Australia
workwellgroup is super excited to announce the launch of our latest retreat offering, the Mindful Life Retreat! Steph Bown – performance coach, and Kirsty Nugent – yoga and meditation teacher – have joined forces to bring you a retreat offering that is open to individuals, couples, friends, siblings or parents and children over 15 years.
For this very special offering, we’ve secured the Byron Beach Retreats – three private, beachfront properties voted one of ‘Australia’s Best Beach Houses’ by Travelling in Australia Magazine.
Be the first to experience this amazing, premium retreat offering. Grab a loved one and set yourselves up with something to look forward to in 2018. New Year – New You!
Contact us to express your interest. Website coming soon!
MINDFUL LEADERS RETREAT
8-11 October 2018, Byron Bay, Australia
workwellgroup’s Mindful Leaders Retreat empowers business leaders with the capability and mindset to build positive, collaborative workplace cultures that achieve extraordinary results
Held in a luxury Byron Bay resort over three nights, this program helps senior leaders and business owners develop the skills to self-manage in the moments that matter. From dealing with productivity challenges to having difficult conversations with colleagues, we help you sharpen the most powerful performance tool in your possession: your mind.
Contact us if you want to find out more about our retreat and our practice.
